I woke up today excited. Today is the first day of summer, my first day to have all of my kiddos all to myself where I can control diet, supplement times, water intake, etc. Today makes me feel like with God, I can do it. We can bring her back to the true her.
That's what I wrote on the first day of summer--almost a year ago. Yet, here we are still struggling. Worse than we ever have before, in fact. I do not think that she is sicker than she has ever been. She has been on psych meds for four years, and her symptoms have been masked. How many years can we struggle with this? How many years can SHE struggle with this?
This is the only family life that my youngest child has ever known. Most of what my son, age 7, has known. This is what they think our family is. But our family is a loving family who wants to play together, love on each other, bring out the best in each other. Our family is so much more than this mess.
I believe that this is all our sweet girl remembers as well. She doesn't remember that we were so attached, so loving, that home was wherever we were and there was no need for "escape" or "relief".