Monday, December 7, 2009

Heartache

Today
I wait at the door
Of your second grade classroom.
Just like every day.
I wait to see your face.
And put a smile on,
Hoping that today it will make a difference.
Hoping that today is the day
That you will grow a big grin
When you see me waiting outside
For you.

Today
When I see you,
I wave and smile.
As the other children
Pour out of the classroom
Into the waiting arms of mamas
Who hug
And smile
And have been missed.

Today,
I step a little closer to the door
As the last of the children
Trickle out.
You are last,
Unhurried,
To your mama
Who loves you
And is looking for glimpses of
A cuddly,
Sensitive,
Loving
Little girl
That has been lost
For quite some time.

Today,
Mama knows that girl
Is still alive in there
Beneath the worry
And the anger
And the defiance
And the violent tantrums.
Mama knows
That she's still there.

Every day,
Mama is looking for her.
Little Girl will not always be
Where she is today.
One day
She will be found.
But not
Today.

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